Monday, June 20

Things I Learned From My Closet, Lesson #2

Me, when I was in college:

Big (and very tight) booty.
Big (pre-baby) boobies.
Big (huge!) ego to match all of the above.

With all of that goin' on, imagine me, at 20, sauntering into a Latin dance club one night with my girlfriends,  wearing a very tight somethin'-somethin' that showed off all of my...


and just knowing that I was the effin' bomb.

After getting stamped at the door so I wouldn't be served alcohol,  I was preparing to run/walk to the ladies' room to wash off said stamp so I could get to the bar and order that Whiskey Sour one of my girlfriends introduced me to.

Instead, I got called back by one of the big, surly guys at the door.

As I turned around and strutted back to the guy (ready to turn him down cuz he really wasn't my type anyway), I thought to myself,

"Dang, Kish, this dress is working already! I bet he and the other guys were talking about me when I walked by.  Don't blame them." 

Smiling nicely anyway, I stood in front of him, watching as he leaned forward preparing to throw his mack-daddy lines to me (no doubt).  I listened intently as he whispered into my ear,

"You have a price tag hanging out the back of your dress."


Fast-forward now to a few months ago:
After a harrowing half-hour in the fitting room of the Gap with P, I finally gathered my child, my wares, and my wits and made it to the register.

While in line, a young lady, standing with her boyfriend behind me, gently tapped me on my shoulder.

Guess what she told me?

"'am, you have a tag hanging out..."

And guess what I did?

I began:
Thanking her quickly...
Ripping the tag off...
Thinking, Did she just call me ma'am?...
Trying to save face...
And mumbling some excuse in which I use P as the reason for my flust-rations and my inability to leave the house appropriately.

Then I began panicking because the dress I was wearing was also from the Gap...
What if she/they thought I put the dress on while in the fitting room and now I was trying to steal it?

Luckily, in both situations, I wasn't arrested for underaged drinking (and can you be arrested for being a stupid egomaniac?) or for shoplifting.

But I did take away a lesson which I'd like to share with you today:

Don't forget to rip those tags off and have a happy day!
(By the way, I no longer have that twenty-year old ego...or twenty-year old body, for that matter!)


  1. I totally think you could still pull off looking like a 20 year old. :)

    That's hysterical and I'm SURE it's happened to everyone at some point in time! Although I'll admit I'm a bit neurotic about washing everything before I wear it, so I tend to take the tags off right away. I have germ issues. Pity me.

    Come take a look inside A Working Mom's Closet

  2. Hahaha, you crack me up!! How I miss those pre-baby boobies! ;) lol

  3. Oh my gosh! Hilarious story. I have done the tag thing too. One day I couldn't figure out what was scratching me all day, it was my tag on my butt!

  4. That's funny Kish but I have to admit to you that it's happened to me in the past too! (and I'm sure it will happen again ;) Lol

  5. I actually wore the size sticker on a pair of jeans all day. The big, long sticker with the size stamped 100 times on it. Not that I'm ashamed or anything but it still felt weird that's the only thing a bunch of random people know about me. My size and that I don't wash new items prior to wearing. :)

    I think you look great now! But I know what you mean about pre-baby boobs. I wish I would have appreciated them more!


  6. Melissa -'re so sweet! I understand about the germy thing...but b/c I tend to shop impulsively, I keep tags on until I'm sure I'm going to keep/wear the piece...which is usually until I'm walking out the door wearing it!

    Tiffany - Amen. And may they rest in piece! ;)

    H/K - Ay-yi-yi! I know about that, too!

    Callandra - Glad you can empathize!

    Jenn - How funny...and equally embarrassing! Isn't funny, though, that people will notice but no one will tell you about?!

  7. lol @ "Did she just call me ma'am?"

    i can't imagine anyone calling you ma'am. you look like you're 12...16 at most ;) and i hope you don't take a offense to that. i don't look much more than 15 according to most ppl. we're in the same boat :)

  8. That is hilarious and I will say it has happened to me before too!!

  9. Funny story! Getting called "ma'am" still throws me too.

  10. Ah, thank you thank you thank you for the much needed mid-day grin!

  11. SimplyChic:
    Wow! 16? Really?! You're my new best friend! ;)

    You've gotta share your story!

    Yes! I can take a "ma'am" reference from my students and my son...but from complete can be a little unsettling sometimes!

    We need those every now and then! Glad you enjoyed!

  12. haha, this post was entertaining! I'm so glad I found your blog via Economy of Style! I'm now following you! Also I don't have a problem with tags, as so much with size stickers. Just when you think you pulled off the strip of M's on your pants or the circle m on your top, someone still tells you later that you still have a sticker on your outfit

    Live Life in Style